AREAS OF CONTACT INTERRUPTION AND TRAUMA TYPOLOGY
Braduta was on the point of giving up therapy. She noticed that she had a problem with “abandonment” (she gets out of relationships, gives up all kinds of activities). The only exceptions were school and job. It turned out that she wanted a long term relationship, but that she was adopting an adventurer’s behavior. She used the scheme learned from her mother: “my personal value is zero”. On an unconscious level, we worked on the metaphor “I’m dressed for sports, but I want everybody to believe that I’m wearing an evening dress.”
The interaction with this patient was, and still is, an attentive and sensitive investigation, defined by continuous encouragement, affection and empathy, stimulation of self expression, auto-valuing everything that has to do with her, support in finding a personal rhythm and patience, giving her the time she needs to understand what happens inside her. My mirror-anchoring, using patience and respect, helped her “feel her”, “think about herself” and express her experience, attributing a great value to this experience.
The contact during the session would be preceded by a pre-contact during which we commented on current social events. This pre-contact would last somewhere between 5 and 10 minutes, having the purpose of re-opening more easily the contact with me and get ready for the session. The contact is very good at the moment, as she has the availability for it. The post-contact is something we are still working on, as Braduta is aware of the fact that after the sessions she has the tendency of closing the contact even with herself. She defines the process as follows: most of the times she leaves all relieved after our sessions but afterwards, she feels the need to close herself in order to protect her vulnerability, either in relation with her, or with others. She also wrote a poem about a worm and a child calling for the mother without being heard. I interpreted it as a regression, as the problem is related to the mother.
During one session, she expressed herself using the language and posture of a child, so I imagined she was 5 or 6 years old. I tuned myself corporally and sensorially with that child and I started the session using the language and the tone of voice I would have used with a child of that age. This behavior brought to surface a spontaneous memory: her sister stole some money from the house and the mother had accused Braduta. As she was petrified with fear, she couldn’t deny it and the mother put her palm on the hot iron so that she “will never put her hands on things that isn’t supposed to”.
Braduta also lived the experience of an imaginary dialogue between two chairs: “the mother” was on one chair, “she, at the age of 5” on the other chair. During the dialogue with the chairs, she succinctly described the process of unconscious introjection in this way: “Mom, I love you so much, that I would bear the shame in your place”.
After that, I asked her to write the qualities and the faults that had been suggested by the mother or by others, on red cards. On yellow cards, what comes from her. Then, I described the image of a house with walls eaten by termites and with normal walls, and I asked her what she would do. She answered that she would demolish THE AFFECTED WALLS and then, would build something else instead. I gave her the task of ripping off the cards and even to burn them (she actually asked “Can I burn them?”). She felt as though things were settling. She had the insight of a baby bird that finds itself inside an egg and makes two-three holes, getting ready to come out. This traumatic episode can be considered an indicator of her feeling of fear, a feeling that is extremely present when relating to others. The conclusions of the relating with others scenario are obvious: the desire of making herself less visible and of being ignored maintained her belief that she was not OK. Even more, looking from a physiological perspective, her voice was “blocked” by the trauma and she was left with the voice of a 6 year old girl, from whom nobody could expect wisdom or intelligence.
Her child voice is actually a somatization of the implicit memory. The therapy allowed her to integrate the trauma and the fixation on herself. While my words of validating the experience allowed her to give the value and the understanding back to herself. During a different session, I used the relaxation with a story: “After losing his flowers, how does a tree or a flower know to make other flowers just as beautiful?” (C. Stavarache, 2004)
